How to make friends with money?
Money issues are quite common in my work with clients. I will cite just a few frequently occurring issues with money.
“I earn good income. Plus, have a side job. But no matter how much I get, I never have enough – for myself. Somehow it turns out that suddenly my mother urgently needs support, the niece goes to college and needs to pay the tutors, you know … It is summer now, and I realized that I have no money to buy myself a new piece of clothing… “
“In my business, I manage to find projects, but somehow none of them is as successful as I would expect. I almost always make around the same amount of profit, but never more! It’s like some kind of barrier!”
“Every month I look forward to my salary – finally, I can relax and buy something long-awaited for myself. Then the money is coming to my bank account. First of all, I pay utilities, credit, insurance, and then it begins: for my daughter – paying for tutors; for the youngest – payments for the childcare, buying shoes; for the car – changing tires. I barely have enough for everything. I, myself am being left with nothing again, but with the sweet hope of “when the next month salary comes …“But then next month is all the same! Feeling poor and unhappy. Money is sorely lacking.”
How to remove the “law of poverty”?
In order for you to have money, you need the desire and consent to receive it. Yes, it is consent, because people who have little money, as a rule, have a “mind of the poor” and subconsciously “repel” incomes from themselves. Luck and prosperity usually bypass such people.
Ask any person: what is luck? Many will answer: advantage that is not dependent on us. This is what we have heard and memorized from our parents and educators from early childhood.
However, in our beautiful, harmonious world there is no chaos. Even the chaotic motion of particles, which is called the “Brownian motion,” is described by a formula. And luck is not as blind as many imagine it. People on earth receive different amounts of money, because they perceive reality differently, they perceive the world differently and have different inherited programming that their ancestors lived by. In order to become successful, changes are needed not from outside, but inside you. Where to begin?
Step 1:Refresh your childhood memory? Perhaps you were spoiled and got everything at first wish? And perhaps they often said: there is no money! Now that you have matured, this phrase works as a limiter. There is no time for the subconscious – something that was real then, is real now.
How to set yourself free from it? Buy yourself what you did not get as a child. It could be anything: a doll, a toy car, a dog, and so on. Present it to yourself and play. Feel yourself not a deprived one, but a darling baby, who being given everything. Repeat the phrase several times a day: life spoils me.
We can materialize our desires (it is no secret to anyone that thought is material). Or vice versa – can materialize our limitations, fears, and phobias.
Step 2:Stop communicating with skeptics, whiners, and pessimists; with those people who only say that they are ill, that the world around us is cruel and terrible, that money is evil, and the people who have it are villains. These people impose their beliefs on you, and there is no joking about beliefs. If you do not believe in the success of the mission (in our case, getting rid of a chronic lack of money), then it is better not to start it at all.
How to protect yourself from the influence of pessimists? It is necessary to stop supporting them: responding to their stories and gasping with them, it is instead better to stop communicating with these people completely. Worse yet, when such a pessimist is someone related or close to you. Be patient and try this approach: be alone, express your indignation out loud (so that they do not hear it). And when pretending to communicate with them, say to yourself: such and such (name) brings me only joy. With a little patience, soon you will see how your relationship with this person is changing.
Step 3:Break free from negative default programming. Yes, indeed, certain programming is passed on to us, including attitudes toward money. And, if the following events occurred in your family: your relatives were robbed or killed because of money; one of the relatives refused money for some reason; someone from your relatives deceived someone; some of the relatives showed weakness or passivity, and other similar cases, a negative monetary setting was recorded in your default program, and it will most likely be difficult for you to earn money, get rich or become financially independent. You can make attempts, but you will constantly fail, as if some kind of force prevents you from doing so. Actually, it is you only who has this power, since it is you who is the carrier of the programming.
What to do? You need to find all such cases from life, about which you know or are able to find out, and work them out.
Step 4. Free yourself from negative assumptions. To do this, take a piece of paper and carefully write down all your thoughts all day long. All negative thoughts write on one sheet, all positive – on the other. Next to each, put the word: YES! In the end of the day review the sheet. You’ll be astonished about what thoughts you materialize for yourself…
In the evening, before going to bed, tear up the “negative” leaflet with the words: I leave this behind forever! “Positive” hide in the bedside table or dresser. Continue to do this and soon you will see that the number of items on the “positive” sheet will increase noticeably, and the sheet with negative thoughts will disappear completely. When this happens, you can congratulate yourself: you managed to overcome the default programming and your life will now start changing to the better!
Elena Beloborodova, PhD Mental health counsellor