For some reason, the word “habit” is often associated with negativity, but it shouldn’t be. I have one wonderful habit of which I will never give up. The habit of reading great books. I cannot imagine my life or my world if such an integral part of who I am was removed. The world of literature has given me knowledge, made me feel emotions so deep, and taught me the experiences of other people. Books are a pleasure, an inspiration, an incentive to think.
Today I share with you, my dear readers, my impressions and reflections on one of my recent reads:
“Apothecary”, by V. Orlov
Honestly, I did not really enjoy reading this book, however, I just powered through – for two reasons. First, it was recommended by my husband, who has great taste. Secondly, previously I read another book, “Viola Danilova”, by the same author and it left a very strong impression on me, so I already had some expectations. Like usual, as I read, I found interesting thoughts and took notes. But that’s not all. When I finished this book, I started to think … Who am I? Who am I in life – to myself, to my husband, to my children, to others?Who?!
Some characters of the book, especially Shubnikov, made me think of the vanity of human nature, the spontaneity of life, the seeming chaos, the difficulty to understand yourself and life, and of the inconsistency of world perception. Of the aspirations of people living side by side; people, who are offended and misunderstand each other’s intentions; those who do not understand that everyone has their own world and their own personal vision.
The book made me think of the inherent desire of people to stand out among others while using humiliating and belittling tactics to ensure that they themselves are the special or unique ones. They forget that the very essence of each person, is already unique and original.
Also, of belittling not only other people’s merits, but their own. Due to lack of confidence, these people become trapped in boxes. Of the longing of the soul which seeks development, and all sorts of restrictions close it off – “squeezing” it with clothes, “poisoning” it with food, “intoxicating” with the rules of society. As a result, not allowing one to listen to their self, to their intuition – as the soul is intuition …
I also thought about why(?). Why do people always fear everything and not get what they want? They are not realized, they do not express themselves because of the “bindings”, and the fear of not complying with something, even when not understanding what. People often are not able or do not want to use the rights and opportunities given to them. They do not realize the obligation to live well and in joy, through the constant development of their inner principles. The very need for self-development is often deemed unnecessary, and lost. Why do people expect from others what they themselves are not always able to give?
Others obsessed with vanity, as a rule, achieve high results and rise to high levels. But, almost always, having received what they want, they find they are not happy with the result. Everything seems to be lacklustre.
And these people continue to delve further, driven by their feelings. And then the collapse usually happens — of everything: relationships, emotions — and life seems purposeless and joyless; all the surrounding people are worthless, ungrateful people who cannot appreciate, and do not understand their choices.
This is the price for vanity – “vain glory,” as I interpret this word for myself. The glory achieved by the illusion of one’s superiority is almost always tricked, to the detriment of others. And, although life gives them the requested (material results, “high level”), it does not bring joy. They are always unhappy.
In nature, there is a law of energy reimbursement: those who constantly take, giving nothing in return to the world or to those around them, ultimately come to satiation. Either they fall into a severe depression, or the fire of aggression starts and self-destruction happens. Such people often cease to feel reality. Not able to stop and think, they strive “only forward”, “to new victories” and spend their energy not for development, but for self-destruction and harm to those around them.
How often we sometimes “flirt” and fly through life, serving other people’s ideals, striving to achieve other people’s goals. In the flow of fuss, we do not listen to our inner voice, we are moving away from ourselves.
I also wondered if I did not look like the main character. After all, too much has been given to me, and I am not coping with everything. This made me feel uncomfortable somehow. But no, I try to live and act consciously, suffering less and less from “perfectionism.” And although I, like the main character, continuously strive to help everyone, I understand more and more that everyone has their own way, and everyone must go and forge it independently.
Many of the things I do are at the call of my soul. I feel that this is necessary and helps people to start or continue something meaningful. There are many such people. But it also happens that the desire to help is misunderstood. The help that opens doors and provides opportunities, is often taken for granted, encouraging people to become freeloaders because everything is given to them. I do not demand anything in return, and I have many examples of this.
And here is another work – “Dostoevsky’s Idiot”, which I was inspired to read by the spectacular theatre performance by Bogomolov. I read with delight, reading into every line, every word! Yes, readiness is needed for any literary work. Tolstoy’s“War and Peace” in adulthood is perceived quite differently. You read without haste, thoughtfully and then reflect; some things you’ll unconditionally agree with, some things you’ll reject, but you always end up reflecting for a long, long time.
Literature is an amazing art form. Reading, you get pleasure not only from the author’s skill and flow, but you also learn the history and philosophy of that time; living and gaining the experience of the characters (which you may never get otherwise).
I like this amazing state of leisurely livingin the moment, right here, right now. In general, we all have tremendous time travel opportunities. Past, present, future – everything is available to us! Except, the past, and the future are either a memory of an event or (with reference to memory and imagination) a premonition. The value of the present is the very moment of action or inaction. Great!
I live, slowly conquering the vastness of life …
Then take off into the height of rapture and happiness,
That fall into the swamp of problems and troubles
And in-between – routine, routine, routine.
They are interspersed with each other,
filling man with new experiences
the ability to move in the fog,
and by the light of the sun or moon …
Our habits form our being; therefore, it is necessary to form habits that can improve our being. Art and literature provide great opportunities for this. Read, go to the theatre, reflect and analyze your life. Make it happier, brighter, and kinder!
Mirra Radiy, Life Coach